A Diary Excerpt; Carrizo Plain Superbloom
During my fever, I dreamt of the plain; Purple, yellow, orange, and blue flowers sprang up in valleys, on the ridges of mountains, and on the sunny faces of hillsides in vivid color. I have never seen Carrizo be more than brown or beige. I could not believe that my dream could possibly be real.
But I am here, and it more than real. It is a surreal technicolor landscape, so lush and lucid that my mind buzzes with over-sensory pleasure. Every color possible has manifested itself into one flower or another. Life teems from every direction: Giant grey hares, swarms of patchwork butterflies, skinks and beetles, and even a great horned owl in the tree above my campsite, who hoots delightedly.
A few months ago, a shift in me began. I grew more and more intolerant to alcohol and marijuana, so I
soon stopped the use of both altogether. It became difficult to bear being around toxic or dark people, especially men, so I isolated myself from my study groups and crowded spaces and only allowed beloved and trusted people into my sacred space.
And then, the fever came. I tried to resist it, but by the third day, I allowed myself to fall into a 12 hour period of sleep. I sweat through all my blankets, - when I awoke, my fingers and toes were wrinkled from being drenched all night.
And when I awoke, I realized I was not angry anymore. No resentments, no complaints, no judgments, grudges, or old traumas haunted me. I felt deeply, and clearly.
After the fever broke, I could only eat raw foods. The introduction of some cooked beans and sweet potatoes was extremely upsetting to my system. So, I allowed myself to eat intuitively, and all through midterms, I lived off fruits, nuts, seeds, and roots. I’ve re-introduced legumes, cacao, and sweet potatoes now, but I knew something sensitive and subconscious had changed within me. A change that anticipated coming here, to the plains, alone; Strong, and able to feel everything.
I sit here as a conductor of energy between the padded green earth and blue sky. The poppies and the lupine swallow me into their hypnotic sway. I know each plant personally, and every bird sings my name. I know that there is no way I will go back home the same.
A few months ago, a shift in me began. I grew more and more intolerant to alcohol and marijuana, so I
And then, the fever came. I tried to resist it, but by the third day, I allowed myself to fall into a 12 hour period of sleep. I sweat through all my blankets, - when I awoke, my fingers and toes were wrinkled from being drenched all night.
And when I awoke, I realized I was not angry anymore. No resentments, no complaints, no judgments, grudges, or old traumas haunted me. I felt deeply, and clearly.
After the fever broke, I could only eat raw foods. The introduction of some cooked beans and sweet potatoes was extremely upsetting to my system. So, I allowed myself to eat intuitively, and all through midterms, I lived off fruits, nuts, seeds, and roots. I’ve re-introduced legumes, cacao, and sweet potatoes now, but I knew something sensitive and subconscious had changed within me. A change that anticipated coming here, to the plains, alone; Strong, and able to feel everything. I sit here as a conductor of energy between the padded green earth and blue sky. The poppies and the lupine swallow me into their hypnotic sway. I know each plant personally, and every bird sings my name. I know that there is no way I will go back home the same.
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